Just Married!

I wanted to share my latest status a day after my wedding but I decided to save it to myself for a while. I wasn’t ready to spill the happy news to strangers yet although, many close friends and families knew about it already. This past two months has been amazing and I hope it will continue to be so for a long time.

Our Love Story

Our love story was not the average love story. We didn’t court each other for very long.

For a few years since my last biggest break-up, I only dated about a handful of men and none of them were taken too seriously. Just as I told my best friend once, I think my heart has completely left the planet. Sometimes my decision-making compass went a little haywire and I ended up trusting the wrong person. So I decided to safe-guard my heart and conscience by making a transparent wall to every men I meet: they can see me, but they cannot come near me.

When I first met Syazwan, I regarded him just as I did other men – a friend. We first met in early 2016, only a week or two after he came back from Umrah in Mecca. Many times he tried to get close to me and every time I would reject him. Sometimes when his behaviour annoys me, I would complain to him directly, advising him to change some of his habits, which he actually did.

At one point he informed me that when he was in Mecca, he prayed for three things and one them was to find the woman Allah created for him. He told me that the first time we met after he came back from Mecca, he felt something that he never felt before with his other female friends. Of course, my cynical self thought it was just a cheesy pickup-line and I brushed it off as just empty words.

That same year, I was looking for a change. My heart and mind was restless. Many times I questioned my decisions and thoughts. And praise Allah, in the month of Ramadan 2016, on a night that was similar to every other Ramadan nights, I felt a very strong urge within me. At the end of that Ramadan, I decided to wear the hijab. In the following weeks, I started to feel more settled, I started to feel calmer, I started to enjoy myself again and I felt very different.

On the eve of 2017, I promised myself that I will delete all toxic people in my life (playboys and over dramatic friends had to go). I also decided that 2017 would be a good year for me to open up my heart and fall in love again.

Early that year I started seeing three very nice guys who were completely different from each other. Each had their own special personality traits, different family backgrounds and careers and distinct connection with me.

What made me pick Syazwan though was his patience, his perseverance, his acceptance and his simplicity. I was very grateful of these traits and how he handled himself (and me!) during my good days and my typhoon-like days.

We became an item in May 2017 and by end of July 2017, he asked me to marry him. I didn’t know why I accepted the marriage proposal right then and there (since I’ve rejected his proposal to become his girlfriend 3 times only a year before!). I even surprised myself at the swiftness of it all – especially considering I am the type of person who needed to have a plan in almost everything.

So yes, I accepted his marriage proposal. There was no engagement (ceremony and tradition) because I strongly oppose unnecessary spending of money. He asked for my parents’ blessings and they were okay with it. After his parents also gave the green light (because we had some differences), we decided to get married in 2018.

The Wedding

At first I thought it would be great to have a wedding in August 2018. 8.8.18 or 1.8.18 would’ve been a nice date but Syazwan didn’t want to wait that long. After many discussions, he wanted it to be done on 1.1.18.

It was quite shocking to both our parents because that would mean we only have less than 5 months to plan, manage and execute the wedding. Even my brother’s wedding the year before took more than 1 year to get everything in place.

Once again I surprised myself for agreeing and going along to the 5-month-deadline wedding. It meant we would have to rush on many things :

  • Pre-marriage course
  • Clinical test
  • Marriage application
  • Dowry
  • Solemnisation
  • Reception

Pre-marriage course

We went for our pre-marriage course in Putrajaya Sentral, Presint 7. We found out about it online – that it was JAWI and JAIS certified and immediately booked for the course. We paid RM120/person for the 2 full-days course. We received the certificate a week later with the option to either pick it up at the same venue or pay RM10 for the certificates to be mailed via registered mail to our home.

Clinical Test (Marriage)

Getting the HIV blood test, blood pressure and sugar level test, height and weight calculation for marriage purposes was a little bit of a hassle. Syazwan had to take the day off from work too (because I read online that it was a long process – which it was!) and we went to the clinic as suggested by the reception (when I called) according to “appointment” time. It turned out that we actually didn’t have to make an appointment at all (unlike what the reception said). So when we arrived, the queue was already quite long. We first had to fill in the forms and booklet (questioning us on our health, family history, our sexual activities, etc) before we were given numbers for the blood tests and body check-ups.

Clinical test (for marriage) must be done at a government health clinic and approved by a government doctor or health officer. The “short” procedure took us more than 4 hours to complete.

Marriage application

This one took a while.

First, we had to fill up our marriage application online. Syazwan applied his marriage application at Sistem Pengurusan Perkahwinan Islam Malaysia since was from Negeri Sembilan. He had to get signature from imam masjid near his home, submit the application with the required documents and wait a week for the approved application.

After receiving the approved application, he gave them to me so that I could proceed at my end. For marriage application of Selangor residents (even though I was born in Johor but I have lived in Selangor for more than 20 years), I had to fill up the online marriage application at Jabatan Agama Islam Selangor, print them, add other documents required (IC copy of myself, my Wali and 2 witnesses) before bringing the application, my Wali and 2 witnesses to the Khadi in charge of the qariah at the mosque near my housing area.

After the Khadi left his official stamp and signature, I had to bring the application to Pejabat Agama Islam Daerah (since I live in Kajang, the one in charge of my district is in Bangi), submit the application (both mine and Syazwan’s) and wait for the approved marriage application.

This whole process took us about a month to complete.

Mahr & Dowry

Syazwan’s mahr to me was 1 Dinar Gold (which at that time was valued at about RM700+). Mahr for women in Selangor is RM300. As for the dowry, we decided to trade 5 trays (men) for 7 trays (women).

Him to me:

  • Ring & Dowry cheque
  • Perfume Set
  • Dress
  • Handbag
  • Laptop

Me to him:

  • Ring
  • Perfume Set
  • Baju Melayu Set
  • Wallet & Belt
  • Shoes
  • Chocolates
  • Sirih Junjung

This was my least favourite part of the whole thing. I hate having to search for different things at different shops and trying to choose the best items with the best price. Luckily though, a month before our wedding there were so many Christmas sales that we got many of the branded items at a good bargain.

Solemnisation

The solemnisation was held at the mosque with only close friends and relatives in attendance. It totalled up to almost 60 people. I didn’t want to have the solemnisation at home, which would mean renting a mini-dais (all these traditions) that would cost about RM500-800. I would rather spend that money on the reception instead.

My makeup and videographer started their job at 7am sharp (which sucked because I stayed up until 3am the night before trying to fix my “problematic” henna). By 10.30am, my friends and family converged with his family and relatives at the mosque. The solemnisation procedure took about an hour to complete (including exchange of trays between the two families) and the feast after that took about an hour too.

I am very grateful to my parents and aunt for helping me out on the feast and door gifts for the guests.

It was still a long day after that – his side of the family came to see our “marriage bed and room”, we continued our indoor video shoot until 6pm and was so tired that by 9pm we were fast asleep.

Reception

You would think that preparing for and going through the solemnisation process was stressful, but it was way easier compared to the reception. I held my reception dinner at Tenera Hotel, Bangi on 20th January 2018.

The reception on my side was 3 weeks after the solemnisation – which I regretted. If I could change it all, I would make it on the same day as the solemnisation – get tired in one-go!

Food tasting!
Tasting all the menu at one seating

Looking for the right hotel was a bit of a problem since we had an issue on our initial hotel choice. Going through the whole procedure of meeting with the chef, meeting with the wedding dais company, meeting with the hotel executive, meeting with the sound system, looking for an MC, looking for someone to recite doa during ceremony, choosing wedding songs, preparing video montage and so on was stressful to the max!

Luckily, my dress was gorgeous or I would’ve just cancelled the whole thing and retire in a cave.

More than once, I felt like jumping off a bridge because I didn’t like being the centre of attention – never did, never will – and the idea of walking towards the wedding dais, sitting in front of a huge crowd and try not to make any mistakes scares the daylight out of me.

It was because of this, (amongst other tiny details) that made me decide to only invite 300 pax (in total) to my reception. It was tough for my parents, since they wanted to invite 1,500 people at least. But I was adamant with my decision and even though financially it was settled for me, I still didn’t want to invite more than 300 guests. So my parents had to choose amongst their very close and old friends while I only chose my best friends, those I meet regularly and those who are dear to me.

The GOT invites are rolled into scrolls and sealed with a Targaryen dragon logo wax seal.

I tried to make it a Game Of Thrones theme, with Game Of Thrones wedding invites, Red flowers around the restaurant, Game Of Thrones names for the tables, Hand-Of-King pins for all my “helpers” and other little things that could help make the reception livelier.

In the end, we made it through and I did not embarrass myself by stepping on my own dress and falling flat on my face. By the end of the photoshoot at 2am, I was ready to crawl on the bed and never wake up until the end of the month.

My parents compromised with many of my requests except one : wearing sneakers under my wedding dress.

Aesthetics

My solemnisation apparels, make-up and accessories was by Kimie Andaman Kajang. I love Kimie and his bubbly personality. I love that he can blend in with my family, my crazy best friend and me. His price are very affordable too, which I love. And I absolutely love how he transformed me through his makeup.

My solemnisation video (Jan), reception video (Hasrul) and photography (Noorehan) was by PVHX Kajang. Video editing by Ana. I was lucky to purchase all these at a discounted price when they were having an offer. In total it was almost RM5,500. I am yet to receive the final products as I’m typing this but will update once I get the final products soon (photobook, printed canvas, reception video, iSmart photo, etc). However, if you’re looking for photographers and videographers, these gentlemen I named above are amazing – very professional, fun and understood my requests without much prompt.

I asked for a Brandon Woelfel inspired photos for my indoor shoot. We did the photoshoot after the reception ended (at 10.30pm) and wrapped up the whole thing at almost 2am. By then, both my photographer and videographer almost slept on the hotel couch and both Syazwan’s and my eyes were bloodshot.

Change Of Status

After nearly 3 months of being married, I am finally here to share my happy news.

“Are you sure you want to get married?” one of my friend asked when I first informed her that I accepted Syazwan’s proposal.

I think, like many things in this life, you just can’t be 100% sure of everything. However, I am sure that my decision to answer, “Yes, I will marry you” to Syazwan was not just a whim. For many years I thought I would never marry (because of all the bad things I see happening to married people around me) and that I would never fall in love again (I was just too cynical and jaded on the idea), but now slowly yet surely, I love being married and love being with my husband.

Love, like life, often catches you (and me!) by surprise.

21 thoughts on “Just Married!

  • at
    Permalink

    Wow, what a great story, Bella. Once again, welcome to a new world, wish you both sakinah mawaddah warahmah

    Reply
  • at
    Permalink

    Waaa seronoklah ada story wedding macam ni boleh share pengalaman pada bakal pengantin juga, Masa Bonde dulu dah tak sama macam sekarang seronok baca, lengkap semua dari a-z persiapan wedding perlu ada planning, dulu masa majlis kawan Bonde dia pun ambik Kimie Andaman Kajang, Cantik sungguh makeup dan persalinan Kimie memang up to date. Tahniah Bella dan suami Uncle Zwan moga bahagia Till Jannah.

    Reply
  • at
    Permalink

    Easy kan nak nikah sebenarnya. But tengoklah macam mana kita buat preparation bagai nak rak untuk 1 hari punya event. Anyhow, congrats to both of you, live a happy life 🙂

    Reply
  • at
    Permalink

    Wahhh sweetnya! I pray for both of you to have a happy life, in this world and hereafter. Moga dilimpahkan rahmat dan dimurahkan rezeki, dan selamat menempuhi masam manis kehidupan berumah tangga dengan sabar dan positif! 😉

    Reply
  • at
    Permalink

    May Allah bless your marriage till Jannah. Sebagai perempuan bukan mudah buat keputusan untuk terima lelaki lain selepas dikecewakan. Tapi itu semua lumrah. Finally, you make a right decision and chose a right man. Congratz!

    Reply
  • at
    Permalink

    sweetnya kisah percintaan dan perkahwinan Bella..tahniah dik..selamat menempuh alam berumahtangga..tahun ni amat bermakna buat Bella sebab dapat sambut puasa dan raya dengan gelaran isteri..akak doakan kalian berdua bahagia selamanya hingga ke Jannah..

    Reply
  • at
    Permalink

    Fuhhh…sampai ke noktah terakhir sis baca dengan penuh tekun dan kusyuk. Alhamdulillah akhirnya selamat sudah. Rasanya tidak terlambat untuk sis ucapkan selamat pengantin baru buat uoll berdua.
    Moga ikatan yang terbina berkekalan hingga ke Jannah, mendapat anak-anak yang soleh dan solehah.

    Reply
  • at
    Permalink

    It’s still not too late for us to congratulate the newlyweds even if they are dyed up. But when I read the love story, it’s just like we did not want to marry hehehe but not yet married. It’s nice to see but sorry I can not come to your wedding.

    Reply
  • at
    Permalink

    Baca sampai habis weeding stories ni. Memang sangat elok simpan memori bila 1st anniversary boleh recall balik. Anyway Selamat Pengantin Baru. Moga bahagia till jannah….Aamin

    Reply
  • at
    Permalink

    Congratulation and may you and your husband live happily. Such a sweet story. Every women will go through a trauma date but when you meet your life partner, it actually change your life.

    Reply
  • at
    Permalink

    so details. teruja akak membaca. tapi nampak bella memang seorang yang sangat kemas perancangannya. Cerita pasal perkahwinan ni, kadang2 tak nafikan kita kena pilih yang terbaik untuk hidup kita. Moga kalian berdua terus bahagia hingga ke jannah. Rasanya tak terlambat juga nak ucapkan selamat pengantin baru tahun 2018 🙂

    Reply
  • at
    Permalink

    Tahniah.. masih selamat pengantin baru hihihi.. setiap org ada masing2 punya pengalaman hr bahagia. Cepat betul buat preparation ye

    Reply
  • at
    Permalink

    I know you and i know syazwan, and both of you are sweet together. Unfortunately, I tak dapat datang on your big day. Sorry guys. But, I pray for both of you, semoga jodoh berpanjangan sampai ke jannah. Read your happy story makes me realize, nothing is impossible. Everything will come at the right place and right time with a right people.

    Sweet giler cite korang. Dah macam Fattzura versi blogger

    Reply
  • at
    Permalink

    Very nice love story ! Absolutely agreed, when someone had a major break up, that person tends to be bitter in relationship and dont take that person seriously. And somehow, feel afraid to be in that break up situation again. Congratulations to u, you have found your soulmate. May your marriage last forever !!

    Reply
  • at
    Permalink

    Whoaaaa what a nice love story. Congratulation babe, and thank you this blogpost gonna help a lot. I am planning to get married next year, so yeah i need a lot of info and guide of what to do, what to get done. I prefer the minimalist concept.

    Reply
  • at
    Permalink

    La.. Baru kenal mamat nie ke? Bro kenal dia tahun 2010-2011 kot… Eh Bro kenal Bella tahun 2011-2012 kan… ? Ok, Zuan menang hahahaha

    Tapi tue la… Sejak Zuan kahwin, dia macam dingin je dengan bro.. kalau tak dulu selalu gak PM-PM berbalas komen.. Ke bro yang tak aktif dah?

    Reply
    • at
      Permalink

      Haha memang pun. Baru kenal, reject few times but still end up kahwin gak. Ini lah namanya jodoh kan.. 😀

      Reply
  • at
    Permalink

    First of all, congratulations on your wedding. This was a good read, thanks for sharing it in such a detailed way.

    Reply
    • at
      Permalink

      Thank you sweetie. I wanted to jot down some of my happy memories. And also sharing the details on marriage process for Muslims since I know some people does not have the complete idea/picture of the process.

      Reply
  • at
    Permalink

    Tahniah Bella dan uncle Zuan, Semoga Bella dan suami berada di bawah lindungan dan ke sejahtera an Allah. Cantik majlis resepi Bella kemas sangat. Proses untuk menikah memang leceh sangat sebab tu ianya penting kan.

    Reply
    • at
      Permalink

      Alhamdulillah. Thank you Ruby. InsyaAllah semoga hubungan kita sama2 diberkati Allah swt.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.